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On a light note this time, a former co-worker with the sort of sense of humor conducive to being a political cartoonist forwarded some football funnies in an e-mail. To be politically correct, I deleted the names of specific schools in all but one instance where the color of the uniforms was essential. Even then, there are two options.

Why do (Texas or Tennessee) fans wear orange?

So they can dress for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

What does the average XXXX player get on his SATs?

Drool.

What do you say to a XXXXX football player dressed in a three-piece suit?

“Will the defendant please rise.”

If three XXXXX football players are in the same car, who is driving?

The police officer.

How can you tell if a XXXXX football player has a girlfriend?

There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

How did the XXXXX football player die from drinking milk?

The cow fell on him

How do you get a former XXXXX football player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

How many XXXXX freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That’s a sophomore course.

How is the XXXXX football team like an opossum?

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Harry King is sports columnist for Stephens Media’s Arkansas News Bureau.

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